I'm sure many of you out there who have adopted know about the "paperwork blues." The feeling like it will never end, the road blocks from places you need them from, the desire to say "We're done!" Some of the paperwork has been easier the 2nd time around, don't get me wrong. BUT, the same old road blocks seem to be there.
Examples of the frustration:
Andy's Work verfication letter.
It took many emails/calls, and Andy finally got his FIRST letter done after a MONTH of waiting on it. Turns out, his was incorrectly done, because apparently, they have no idea how to get something notarized. THEN< in my amazement, they turn around and get the letter corrected within a week, (Prior to Jen's 2nd one being done. What is up with that?!?)
Jenny's work verification letter. (Let's just say, these 2 things are not boading well for the HR community)
Usually, it takes my HR department FOREVER to get things right. So I was shocked when I received the letter back, within a week, and done to my specifications (and before Andy got his). (Which was basically done just like our last one in terms of content), but needed a notary. I tell my agency over the phone what it's like, they say it's fine. However, once they see the actual scanned copy- no, it's all wrong. So I think, okay, in a week, I'll have the right one. NO!!!!!!!!!!! This time, it takes 4 f/us emails, 1 f/u phone call, and an email to the HR person's BOSS to get back the corrected letter after a MONTH of waiting for it!!!!!!!!!!!! And it was literally, the LAST thing we were waiting on.
Wait list documents
It took 2 weeks to get these from the agency! It only took us 2 days to complete them. That is at least 12 extra days that were unnecessary!!!!!!!
License letter from Home study agency- STILL Waiting on it and not going to get it for at least 2 more weeks because the person has taken the longest vacation known to man, and apparently NO ONE else i the licensing office can handle putting it together. URG!
So I take the documents we have today down to get them verified and apostilled, because we should be able to register with the ones we have on file. I had been VERY careful in explaining the requirements for the notaries every where we had to have them done. Apparently, my HR person is extremely bad, because she did NOT pay attention to the fact that the notary had to be registered in our county. THEREFORE- I have to have it done a 3RD time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Believe you me, I am going in there and raising hell, because I'm not waiting a MONTH to get it back this time.
I call the agency, and am told, it's okay, we can still register without the work verification letter. OK! That makes me feel less bad, but I'm still fuming mad at the situation none the less. Next, I pick up our certified copy of the deed. No problem. I'm okay, it's only been almost 2 hours since I started the process of getting the verifications done. I get to the Secretary of State office. They relunctantly take my 79 documents (yes, that is the number I had, not counting the 3 outstanding that we can register without)........I sit to wait patiently (mostly because the woman acted like it was going to take her the rest of the day, and it was only ten til 3 pm. - they are open until 5). After about 10 mins the lady re-appears, and think, wow that was fast. Uh- NO. she proceeds to tell me that they cannot apostil the deed becuase it was a deputy recorder, and not the county recorder herself that completed the certificaton. HELLO! I KNOW I am not the only person in my county that is and has adopted from Russia. WHY can't they get their crap together!!!!!!
NOw, what amazed me was, the woman acted like she was NOT going to finish my other documents! I had to tell her that I still wanted her to do the other documents while I went back to the other office to get the right certified copy. She AGAIN acted put out. At this point, I SERIOUSLY was about 5 seconds away from tears! I had just put enough money in the meter to sit there 1.5 hours and had to go re-pay for the parking garage I literally had left about 20 mins prior. I go back up to the office, and the deputy recorder who signed my document says he can't help me, and takes me to his boss. I proceed to explain to him what I need, and he begins to turn into a big, pompous jerk. Again, I could cry at any moment. URG. I tell the guy, I'm not arguing that they gave me a certified copy; HOWEVER< the s. of s. office WILL NOT apostil it, and it is not in my control. He says the best he can do is to notarize them. But, he will have to re-issue (re-charge me) for the ones I LITERALLY JUST picked up, because they left the office, so they cannot consider them valid. I asked him when they would be done, and he basically yelled several times, "Not today, not today." and would not give me a straight answer. Now, I knew that if I opened my mouth to comment on his rudeness, that A) I would end up crying. and B) they might have to escort me out of the office. Therefore, I took his name and number, and believe you me, I will be calling tomorrow to find out the status, and I WILL ask to speak to his supervisor.
I got down town about 1:10 today, and didn't get to pick Owen up until 5:10. I am exhausted, worn out, and really just want to cry. I think we can still send the documents we have to get registered, but now we still have these additional outstanding documents, which apparently are going to continue to be pains in my rear. i need lots of prayers. i also think I could use lots of chocolate, well emotionally rather than physically, anyway, LOL! I'm just so anxious to keep the papers moving and to get closer to bringing our next baby home. I still do not think it's fair that even HERE in the US where everything is "so much better." That people still put adoptive parents through so much crap. Especially people like that deputy recorder. I just want to look at them and be like- HELLO you're getting paid to do this job, WITH MY MONEY, and I'm just trying to bring my baby home, get over it and just help me!!!!!!
We'll see what tomorrow brings. (be lucky i didn't go into all of my frustrations we've had with paperwork and the agency, etc, or you'd be reading this for a long time. That is if you didn't already stop reading it.)
About Me
- JEM826
- My name is Jenny, and I am married to my wonderful husband Andy. We are the proud parents of Owen Daniil, who we adopted from Russia. Our Gotcha Day was 02/08/2011. Our family is a true gift, and we feel very blessed that God chose each one of us as members. I am not good at blogging, I'm just starting out and getting used to it. However, I am hoping to share some stories about our family. Welcome to my crazy, but wonderful, life!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
2.5 years old!
Tomorrow, my baby will be 2.5 yrs old. I cannot believe it. He is ornery as ever, never stops talking, and is as loveable as could be. Right now, he is waiting to watch daddy mow the grass. He has not gotten to do this for about 2 months since we have had very little rain and the grass wasn't growing. That has been a disappointment for both Owen and Andy! Andy loves knowing that Owen is obsessed with watching and waving at him, and getting to wave back. Andy said he'll miss it once Owen tires of it. Of course by the time Owen is old enough to mow the grass he won't want to, LOL!
We have been gathering our supplies to work on Owen's "Mickey Room." I'm trying to get Owen really excited about his new room, so he'll be good with the swtich. So far we have picked out curtains, bedspread, and paint. I have the decals picked out, but have to order them. I also need to order the bed rails. Owen moves so much in his sleep I know he'll need those. We're going to let him "help" put the room together, and then kind of transition him starting with naps. Although I have a feeling he's going to want to be in there at night pretty soon after that.
I am wondering if Owen will miss the Snoopy room, but I think he will be okay. We are also looking into a new sitter. We have an interview with one this Wednesday. She sounds promising on the phone, so we'll see. I think Owen will miss his old sitter, but I think he will adjust okay. Especially if we spend a little time over there before he totally switches places. I'm really hoping we help him adjust well to all of the changes that are coming. I'm hoping that if we do everything casually and slowly. rather than rushed, we'll be okay. Changes always affect each kid different, so we'll see! Keep your fingers crossed for us that all goes smoothly:)
We have been gathering our supplies to work on Owen's "Mickey Room." I'm trying to get Owen really excited about his new room, so he'll be good with the swtich. So far we have picked out curtains, bedspread, and paint. I have the decals picked out, but have to order them. I also need to order the bed rails. Owen moves so much in his sleep I know he'll need those. We're going to let him "help" put the room together, and then kind of transition him starting with naps. Although I have a feeling he's going to want to be in there at night pretty soon after that.
I am wondering if Owen will miss the Snoopy room, but I think he will be okay. We are also looking into a new sitter. We have an interview with one this Wednesday. She sounds promising on the phone, so we'll see. I think Owen will miss his old sitter, but I think he will adjust okay. Especially if we spend a little time over there before he totally switches places. I'm really hoping we help him adjust well to all of the changes that are coming. I'm hoping that if we do everything casually and slowly. rather than rushed, we'll be okay. Changes always affect each kid different, so we'll see! Keep your fingers crossed for us that all goes smoothly:)
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Owen is 29 months:)
Owen turned 29 months on 6/30/12. (Which happened to be my grandparent's 54th wedding anniversary:)) Things he says are really starting to be funny, even the "talking back" he sometimes tries to do. Although, that won't seem so funny once he's a little older....
He will wag his finger at me and say, "Stop mommy, stop." If I say something like, "Owen don't mess with that." He'll look at me and say, "I didn't mommy, I didn't." Owen will ask a question, or ask for something, and I'll respond, "I'm getting it, or not right now." Then he'll say, "Okay!" in an exasperated sound. Seriously, when did kids start acting so much older when they are so much younger?
I will say however, that he is pretty well behaved. We have our days when he throws more tantrums, or is into EVERYTHING. But, he is only 29 months and that is normal. He knows where things go and puts them there, like his shoes. He knows where books go and his blocks, and though we have to keep reminding him to put things away, he does do it, and he is only 29 months. We are very lucky to have such an adorable, cute, and well behaved kid.
The other day, we went by church, which he constantly remembers we tripped at like a month ago. Then have her say, "trip mommy?" I say, yes. Then he says, "I want to go to church." I know right now, he probably doesn't mean those words, but I'm hoping that he will grow up enjoying church and still "wanting" to go.
On July 4th, Owen started being able to pedal his tricycle on his own:) He was so happy to do it. If this heat ever let up, we could go outside long enough for him to try and take a "walk" on his bike. We even got him his first helmet, which he LOVES to wear when he's no on his bike, LOL:)
Today, we went and picked out Mickey Mouse fabric for his new room. We are going to move him into it in the next few months. Once we finish our dossier for the current adoption (which we are close to doing:)), we are going to start really putting his room together. Then, once we are matched with our next little one, we're going to transition him to his new room. We're trying to give him time to adjust to some changes at home prior to the new little one's entrance. Hopefully, this will cut down on any jealousy or feeling of being left out. We're going to let him "help" put the room together and I want to make a big deal out of it for him. I am hoping he really likes it:)
It's pretty amazing thinking that in the next year, or less, we will have another little McMullin running around the house. I cannot wait to see Owen in the rule of big brother. He amazes me already as my son, so I know he'll be awesome as a big brother:)
He will wag his finger at me and say, "Stop mommy, stop." If I say something like, "Owen don't mess with that." He'll look at me and say, "I didn't mommy, I didn't." Owen will ask a question, or ask for something, and I'll respond, "I'm getting it, or not right now." Then he'll say, "Okay!" in an exasperated sound. Seriously, when did kids start acting so much older when they are so much younger?
I will say however, that he is pretty well behaved. We have our days when he throws more tantrums, or is into EVERYTHING. But, he is only 29 months and that is normal. He knows where things go and puts them there, like his shoes. He knows where books go and his blocks, and though we have to keep reminding him to put things away, he does do it, and he is only 29 months. We are very lucky to have such an adorable, cute, and well behaved kid.
The other day, we went by church, which he constantly remembers we tripped at like a month ago. Then have her say, "trip mommy?" I say, yes. Then he says, "I want to go to church." I know right now, he probably doesn't mean those words, but I'm hoping that he will grow up enjoying church and still "wanting" to go.
On July 4th, Owen started being able to pedal his tricycle on his own:) He was so happy to do it. If this heat ever let up, we could go outside long enough for him to try and take a "walk" on his bike. We even got him his first helmet, which he LOVES to wear when he's no on his bike, LOL:)
Today, we went and picked out Mickey Mouse fabric for his new room. We are going to move him into it in the next few months. Once we finish our dossier for the current adoption (which we are close to doing:)), we are going to start really putting his room together. Then, once we are matched with our next little one, we're going to transition him to his new room. We're trying to give him time to adjust to some changes at home prior to the new little one's entrance. Hopefully, this will cut down on any jealousy or feeling of being left out. We're going to let him "help" put the room together and I want to make a big deal out of it for him. I am hoping he really likes it:)
It's pretty amazing thinking that in the next year, or less, we will have another little McMullin running around the house. I cannot wait to see Owen in the rule of big brother. He amazes me already as my son, so I know he'll be awesome as a big brother:)
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Our second journey to adoption
As I've mentioned before, we have struggled with infertility for just shy of 5 years. I pray about it all the time, but I know that if God had answered my prayers the first time, we wouldn't have Owen. And that would be a far worse fate!!!!!! I just ended taking any kind of treatment for infertility. (Which consisted of hormonal therapy) It wasn't helping with the irregular cycles anyway, and my doctor had stopped reviewing my chart, so I had a feeling he wasn't really confident that he could do anything else for me. Therefore, it seemed it was time to just let go of the treatments for a while. It hit me hard ending them, because I still pray that maybe someday God will think it's the right time for us to have a bio babe as well our adopted babes.
I might eventually try to get re-evaluted or get a second opinion about my irregular cycles. But, for right now, we are focusing on our next adoption. I know in my heart God has at least one other baby waiting for us to bring him/her home. This second babe is also in Russia, and I know that the infertility is a blessing, because our lives couldn't be whole without Owen or the next baby that God has planned for us.
I may never know the gift of life the same way as other mothers, but I have to remind myself, that the best thing you can want for another person is a relationship with God. My prayers, my husband's prayers, our family and friend's prayers, are what is nurturing and feeding our baby in Russia, just as they did with Owen. Our bond did not start through an umbilical cord, but rather through our hearts. Our baby is being physically fed by care takers right now, but our prayers are going to my baby's heart where God is his/her center. I know our prayers are being answered, because we've already gotten to experience this joy with Owen. So, as I end my post tonight, I ask everyone to continue praying for our family, especially for the little one we hope to soon welcome home. I know that my baby feels these prayers and love, because I can feel his/hers in my heart.
I might eventually try to get re-evaluted or get a second opinion about my irregular cycles. But, for right now, we are focusing on our next adoption. I know in my heart God has at least one other baby waiting for us to bring him/her home. This second babe is also in Russia, and I know that the infertility is a blessing, because our lives couldn't be whole without Owen or the next baby that God has planned for us.
I may never know the gift of life the same way as other mothers, but I have to remind myself, that the best thing you can want for another person is a relationship with God. My prayers, my husband's prayers, our family and friend's prayers, are what is nurturing and feeding our baby in Russia, just as they did with Owen. Our bond did not start through an umbilical cord, but rather through our hearts. Our baby is being physically fed by care takers right now, but our prayers are going to my baby's heart where God is his/her center. I know our prayers are being answered, because we've already gotten to experience this joy with Owen. So, as I end my post tonight, I ask everyone to continue praying for our family, especially for the little one we hope to soon welcome home. I know that my baby feels these prayers and love, because I can feel his/hers in my heart.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
28 months and 16 months home.
My baby turned 28 months 5/30/12. Tomorrow, 06/08/12 marks Owen being home 14 months. I cannot believe how much he continues to grow and amaze me. He continues to increase his talking. His singing is getting better in terms of singing along with songs. I just love the fact that he LOVES Raffi, since that is a kids singer that I grew up with and loved. Up until a couple of months ago, he preferred these other CDs of kids songs, but now he ALWAYS wants Raffi on in the car. Luckily, kid music is still okay for me to sing along with too;)
Tonight, after we played outside for a little bit, Owen and I sat on the glider on our back deck, and we sang part of a Raffi song together while we glided. Now, that only lasted for a minute, but it still was nice. Of course he is SUPER energetic and has to constantly moving (alot like his dad actually), so i wasn't surprised that we didn't sit there longer.
He's so much better with listening/reading books now, that it's fun to see what book he's "in the mood" for at bedtime. He likes to read a lot, and for that I'm glad. I love to read, and find it so valuable as a hobby, because it keeps your mind sharper than being a TV junky. Plus, if he becomes a reader like me, He'll love diving into the stories.
Tonight, after we played outside for a little bit, Owen and I sat on the glider on our back deck, and we sang part of a Raffi song together while we glided. Now, that only lasted for a minute, but it still was nice. Of course he is SUPER energetic and has to constantly moving (alot like his dad actually), so i wasn't surprised that we didn't sit there longer.
He's so much better with listening/reading books now, that it's fun to see what book he's "in the mood" for at bedtime. He likes to read a lot, and for that I'm glad. I love to read, and find it so valuable as a hobby, because it keeps your mind sharper than being a TV junky. Plus, if he becomes a reader like me, He'll love diving into the stories.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
27 months!
My baby is now 27 months old! It's hard to believe how fast he is growing. He is always on the go, and getting into more and more trouble! Even the sitter commented on how much more ornary Owen has been the last few weeks! He can get into so much trouble, but be so cute doing it.
He still impresses me with his talking and how everyday, it feels like more and more words he's saying correctly. He's been saying the sign of the cross and repeating parts of prayers when we do them. I just wish he would do it more in front of other people so they don't think we're making it up, LOL! He's even been trying to sing more. At church last week, we sang a song called rain down. He tried to sing this....with a full mouth of goldfish crackers. It was kind of cute, though I just hoped he didn't spray anyone with food. Then, he did try to say the "Our Father" during church, but the loudest word he said was "evil" which he proceeded to say in a very "evil" fashion, LOL! That one actually made me bust with laughter, to where I had to put myself in check that I was behaving.
I just came back down from rocking Owen, he woke up crying. While I held him, I started to wollow in my own pond of self pity. I was thinking how much I wished that I had helped create this little butterball of perfection- ornaryness and cuteness all wrapped into one. How I didn't get to carry this precious gift in my womb, to hear his heartbeat for the first time, feel his kick and to be the first to hold him.
But then I started thinking, I didn't get to do those things, but I did get to bring this precious boy home. I get to call him my son, and to plant kisses all over the cutest face, and to share my faith with him. I am not the one who had to say goodbye, but the lucky one who got to say hello! I am the one who gets to read him the bed time stories, rock him to sleep, cuddle him when he has bad dreams. I get to see him grow in every other way.
I get to love him forever, because as long as I'm living, my baby he'll be!
He still impresses me with his talking and how everyday, it feels like more and more words he's saying correctly. He's been saying the sign of the cross and repeating parts of prayers when we do them. I just wish he would do it more in front of other people so they don't think we're making it up, LOL! He's even been trying to sing more. At church last week, we sang a song called rain down. He tried to sing this....with a full mouth of goldfish crackers. It was kind of cute, though I just hoped he didn't spray anyone with food. Then, he did try to say the "Our Father" during church, but the loudest word he said was "evil" which he proceeded to say in a very "evil" fashion, LOL! That one actually made me bust with laughter, to where I had to put myself in check that I was behaving.
I just came back down from rocking Owen, he woke up crying. While I held him, I started to wollow in my own pond of self pity. I was thinking how much I wished that I had helped create this little butterball of perfection- ornaryness and cuteness all wrapped into one. How I didn't get to carry this precious gift in my womb, to hear his heartbeat for the first time, feel his kick and to be the first to hold him.
But then I started thinking, I didn't get to do those things, but I did get to bring this precious boy home. I get to call him my son, and to plant kisses all over the cutest face, and to share my faith with him. I am not the one who had to say goodbye, but the lucky one who got to say hello! I am the one who gets to read him the bed time stories, rock him to sleep, cuddle him when he has bad dreams. I get to see him grow in every other way.
I get to love him forever, because as long as I'm living, my baby he'll be!
Monday, March 12, 2012
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