Somewhere out there.....

Ever since the Russian ban was put into effect and we realized that we would not be bringing our little boy home, I have been watching the Russian database to see if they changed or updated his photo, so I could keep "tabs" on him in whatever way I could. Well, Saturday night, Andy and I decided to check the database, and our little guy's picture was gone. We are PRAYING really hard that this is a good thing, and that it means he has been adopted.  It feels strange not knowing, and it makes us not being able to adopt him even more real, which is odd since we know we could not.  Now though, we really don't know where he is. We hope that somewhere out there, he is now with his forever family and being given the love that he deserves and that we were hoping to share with him. He will always be in our heart and always will be the son we never got to meet, but now we have more hope for him and his future.

We worked more on our daughter's room yesterday, and the painting is almost done. We have the pink and blue done. Now we just have to touch up the purple. We should be able to have all the decorations and everything up within the next week or two. Depending on the time and everything else we have going on. We were informed a couple weeks ago that there is a 6 - 12 month wait on being matched with a girl under 2. This was not the original time frame we were given. We were originally told we could be matched within 3-4 months. We were also told that it is likely we would not travel to pick our daughter up until 4-6 months after we are matched.

So, finishing up her room is good, but just reminds me that it will be sitting empty that much longer. I am not good with the wait. I'm anxious. All I think about is who she is, how old she is, what she looks like, what conditions she'll have, what will we need to do to make sure everything is ready for her, including medical appointments, possible surgeries.

We started this adoption process 5/2012. We've gone through heart ache, had to re-do our home study, re-do our dossier, and mentally and emotionally change the direction our lives were going.
I keep thinking bout how long it is taking, and how we would love to have 4 kids, and how this process of adoption seems to be getting harder and taking longer. I have been praying that we would bring our girl home by Christmas and we know that this cannot happen at this point. My heart aches to know and hold and have this little girl home with us. I watch Owen and am so anxious for him to have his sister here.

I am praying for patience. As my family will attest, I come from a long line of control freaks (though my mother might deny it, LOL). I am praying very hard to give over my need for control and trust in God and his timing. To know that He has a plan and it is always better than what we can have planned for ourselves.

I ask my friends and family to continue to pray for a little boy that we hold dear in our hearts, for a daughter we hope to soon hold in our arms, and for all the children everywhere that need families. Somewhere out there are families just waiting to be united.